A Million Little Paper Cuts
by Fangirl5eva
Summary: Alec and Magnus come home after a meeting with the council.
1. Chapter 1

**A Million Little Paper Cuts – A Malec Fan Fiction**

**Authors Note: this is my first time writing a fanfic, soo... yeah, don't judge!**

"I can't believe they did that to you while you were talking!" Magnus said, rage seeping into his voice.

"Honestly, its fine, I've gotten used to it now." A sullen Alec replied, as they entered his boyfriends' apartment. Obviously it wasn't ok, every time he tries to speak in front of the conclave; they either ignore him or cut him off mid speech. But he couldn't actually say that to Magnus, he'd go crazy and probably cover them all in glitter for eternity. _No_, he thought, _it' better to act like it doesn't affect him._ "It's like I said to Izzy, it's not like a stab wound you can protect me from, it's a million little paper cuts everyday – and you can't stop people from getting paper cuts. They just have to suck it up and move on."

"Is that really how you feel, Alec dear?"

"It just feels like no one wants to help me, or even know me."

"Well I'm always here for you, and I always will be."

At that a pang of guilt ached through him, like something he couldn't describe. Magnus will be there for him, until he dies, but he will only be for Magnus, for an eye blink, to his boyfriend. He couldn't help but look away, guilt plastering his face. Magnus must have guessed what he was thinking; he took his face in his hands brushing his cheeks with his thumbs, "You know that, right? That I will always be there for you?"

"Yes of course I do, it's just…" he was scrambling for the words, he might as well tell him the truth, "…I can't tell you how lucky I am, how happy I am that you're with me. But, it's just so hard." He sighed.

Shock made Magnus's eyes wide, his beautiful gold/green eyes; the eyes that Alec had always found so captivating.

"Hard?!"

"Yes, I mean it's frowned upon in shadow hunters and we don't really see Downworlders as people to socialise with, it's so hard to get more important shadow hunters to take me seriously. I just… I can't help but feel useless, like nothing." Alec replied, wanting to sink into a couch and curl up and cry.

"You're not nothing, not to Izzy, not to your mum, not to Jace, you're were the opposite of nothing to Max," that made him flinch, he shouldn't have brought it up, even though Alec had said he had gotten over it, every mention of his brother's name brought up the aching pain, that he should have been there for his brother when Sebastian killed him, like he was just a fly that needed to be swatted. That was it he couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't let Magnus see him like this, and he rushed of his boyfriends grip and locked himself in the master bedroom, curling into a ball, on the bed, trying to stop himself from crying. He didn't know how long it had been when he heard the click of the door, it could have been 2 minutes or it could have been 30, all he knew is that he didn't want anyone to see him like this, especially his boyfriend. What kind of shadow hunter cries, and hides?

.

"Alec, honey? Do you wanna talk about it?" he could hear the concern in his voice, the ache of guilt in his tone meant that he thought he had done something wrong, how could he put his boyfriend through thinking he had done something wrong?

"Not really, but I guess if you want me to…"

"Of course I want you to talk to me, the way you rushed off like that… But if you want to put up your big, shadow hunter, walls and sulk for the rest of the day, then I'll just have to deal with it."

"Fine, let's talk."

"If you insist..."

"Magnus!" he barked, "not in the mood, I just want to be left alone, but I have to have the most caring boyfriend a guy could have. So here you are looking at me, probably thinking I'm the most pathetic shadow hunter ever, and you're probably right. Because we both know I'm a terrible fighter. So go ahead and try and comfort me. I. Dare. You."

At that Magnus slid onto the bed taking his hand and lacing their fingers, looking deep into those startling blue eyes that constantly make him gasp to himself, at the purity inside.

"There is nothing about you that is pathetic or terrible." He said with an almost over-confident tone to his voice. "You know I can always just cover the conclave in glitter for eternity, or maybe…"

"I knew it! I knew that if I told you, you would want to do something like that!" Alec said, trying not to laugh.

"There you are, I knew you were still under that brooding, sullen shell."

_Dammit, every time!_

"You always make me smile, so that's not fair. Now if I was dating someone like Simon…"

A sudden outburst of laughter came out of him, Alec watched his boyfriends face, suddenly light and happy, but he could still see he concern in his eyes.

"Are you comparing me to Vampire Boy?"

"Well I have been thinking, if it doesn't work out with you…" A cheeky smile growing on his face.

"If you ever ditch me for Vampy, I will personally change your entire wardrobe to glitter, animal print and rainbow."

"Okay, okay, no need to get drastic. Would you ever leave me for someone else?" sheer concern plastering his face.

"Would I ever change my entire closet to look like I was an office worker? Alec, you have to stop thinking that you're not good enough for me, because without you I wouldn't be good enough for anyone."

Alec couldn't help himself, to be this close to Magnus for this long was hard enough, but with all this stress it just seemed to make him completely out of control. He leaned forward brushing his lips against his boyfriends, and when he leaned into it… there was a fierce pressure of being hurried and that each kiss would never be enough. A spark ignited between them, and there was a blaze running through every part of his body, burning hotter and brighter with every moment they touched. They're mouths were open and tongues were dueling, searching, longing. Hands on body, skin, fabric. Why fabric? There was no need for that, without thinking Alec searched for the hem of his shirt pulling it off over his head, it was almost painful to be disconnected from Magnus when the blaze between their bodies burned fierce and long. But there was still fabric, why?

"Ohh…"

"What is it?" Magnus said, eyebrows creased, but lips still locked with his.

"I was just…" he said between kisses, "wondering why you still have your shirt on?" he felt a smile against his lips, then the hot pressure on his jaw, throat, neck, collarbone, and back up to his lips, while his hands moved to the hem of his shirt, Magnus locked eyes with Alec, as though daring him to go further. Just as Alec's index finger made its way down the middle of his boyfriends' abs, his phone rang.

.

"Ungh!" he grunted in displeasure, broke off his attachment, and fished out his phone from his back pocket. It was Izzy, might as well answer it –

"Hello,"

"Hey, Alec, look I know I've been bugging you a lot lately, and I… "

"You don't say," he mouthed the words _Izzy_, Magnus sighed and laid back against the bed, knowing that this phone call could take a while. Well that was their fun ruined.

"… anyway, know you're with Magnus probably romancing it up, but I kinda need your advice."

_His advice? Why would she want his advice? He is terrible at anything she is interested in._

"My advice?" Alec said, letting all his shock and surprise seep into his voice.

"Yes Alec, your advice."

"What do you want me to give you advice about?"

"Umm, when you started dating Magnus, how did you know that you loved him? And that he loved you?"

"I guess that I just felt it, like a… uh… a spark, that always ignited when I saw him," he glanced at Magnus, who seemed to glow slightly.

"As for how do I know that he loves me?, Magnus had tensed, he felt it, "Well there is the fact that he is always caring for me, and the way that his eyes are always dark with concern when I go off fighting."

"Okay, thanks, see you later. Oh and Alec,"

"Yeah?"

"If Magnus is there, tell him that I want my eye-liner back."

"Okay, bye." The phone call ended. Alec looked up and saw Magnus staring at him.

"Umm, Izzy said that she wants her eyeliner back."

"You really feel a spark when you see me?" he asked, slowly moving closer towards Alec, he felt himself blush.

"Yeah, don't you?" suddenly concerned that Magnus didn't feel that little spark inside him when they saw each other. The little spark that grew bigger and bigger, into a blaze, when they kissed.

"I don't know, maybe. Does your spark ever get bigger, and how?" he said cautiously, trying to hide a cheeky smile.

Knowing where this was going, Alec replied with "Why don't I _show_ you?" At that Magnus let his smile show. Alec crawled across the bed, and straddling in Magnus's lap. They leaned into each other, tongues dueling and exploring. Alec smiled to himself, finally his shirt was off and he could feel the shapes of pectoral muscles, his flat stomach, _and those 'v' lines, god dammit_ he was suddenly very conscious of how he might look and feel to Magnus, that thought was quickly dispersed when there was a small mewling at the foot of the bed, _every time!_ They disentangled themselves to see Chairman Meow sitting on the bed, looking at Magnus hungrily.

"Go and find your own dinner, can't you see I'm busy?" he said indignantly.

"Don't worry, go feed him. I just want to know one thing…"

"And what's that?"

"Did you feel a spark?"

"I always feel a spark." He answered, and with that he winked, and got up to feed the cat.

Alec sat there staring after him thinking – _maybe a million paper cuts aren't so bad when you have someone to sit with you and help you heal._


	2. PLEASE READ!

UPDATE!

Hiya guys! Just wanted your opinion of which ship I should do next. More Malec? Or maybe some Clace, or Sizzy, or MaiaXJordan? Please let me know, so I can write more. Thanks ;3

Xxox


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